You've probably noticed the list under 50 Book Challenge on the right getting longer and longer, so I expect it's time to share what the point is! Here's the summary from Librarything:
"The 50 Book Challenge is a way to track and share the books you read throughout the year. Some people also choose to set personal goals to read more books, or more non-fiction, or more new books. The point is that it's up to you what you want to do."
For me, the goal was to read at least 50 books in the first year of my blog. I figured I would have no problem with this, since I spend half my life with my nose in a book, but it's been harder than I expected - I assumed I'd reach 50 books in the first 4 months. This coming Friday is the 6 month anniversary of the beginning of this blog, so seems like a good time to assess how my challenge is going.
I also decided that I needed to identify which books were new. You will notice, now, that the list includes books marked (R). This is to signify that they are re-reads, (not adult-only content); books I have read anywhere from 1 to 15 times before. In fact, most of these rereads are my childhood or teen favorites, books I bought in college or books I've had since I was 12. I'm still counting them as part of my 50 book challenge, but I wanted a visual way to see how much I am actually reading for the first time. While I was doing this I noticed that one book is even on the list twice! It's now marked R2. (yeah, yeah, I'm an aspie, get over it)
To summarize, in the last 6 months, I have:
reread 17 books
reread 1 book twice
read 16 new books
started 3 books I intend to finish
started 3 books I do not intend to finish
...making a grand total of 35 books I am counting toward my 50 book challenge. Although I will not be reading 15 books by Friday, I have no doubt that in the next 6 months I will meet the 50 book challenge. Can you?
Monday, April 21, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Grownups
I'm totally stealing this from the comment section of another blog I read. It's a response to someone who said that, as adults, if we liked the subject idea, we can't possibly be "real" adults, and should therefore grow up a bit. Neuffy, the responder, summarized exactly what I thought of this, better than I ever could, so I quote from him directly. Check out the links after the quote to see what he's talking about.
"Neuffy Says:
"The serious work of either a marriage or raising kids?
"Regarding free time: Of course there is copious free time. If you don’t have such amounts of free time, why have you arranged your life that way? From the tone of your comment, it seems that you think those things that are not practical or “serious” are not worthwhile. In my experience, it is precisely those things that are most precious.
"Sure, they aren’t what “grown-ups” do, but that is precisely the point of the comic: “Because we’re grown-ups now, and it’s our turn to decide what that means.” As long as the basic necessities of life are not being neglected (income/sanitation/hygiene/nutrition/etc), then this is the “serious work” of life.
Examples of things that I group in with ball-pits: An afternoon couching. An evening fire with dry ice and water-filled bottles. Fancy dress for a no-occasion dinner out. Snow forts/Igloos. Ticklefights. Lego nights. Dress-up parties. Strange-food dinner (eg. peanut butter pizza). Impromptu public plays.
"The reason this resonates so intensely with such a large number of people is precisely because it involves the kind of life-definition that seems sadly lacking in the archtypes laid out for us as life-models.
"Then again, maybe I’m just baised. My parents were a musician and an artist, and they did what they loved throughout their lives, and managed to raise children while doing so. They didn’t make the kind of sacrifice that it seems is being implied. I’ve also seen what I feel is the near-inevitable end result of self-sacrifice in the name of “maturity”: People who are burnt-out, inactive, have routines and habits set in stone, and really do not take joy from life.
"I know which life I want. I think that this idea symbolizes the choice of favoring strangeness and joy over practicality and seriousness."
Hear, hear!
If you managed to read this far, check out these links:
The comic that started it all.
The Blog to go with the comic that started it all.
A company that installed a ball pit.
And so did Google: Scroll to "Kidtastrophe."
Now, using Xkcd's Ball Pit Calculator, you may all donate to my fund. I need about $5000 to create a ball pit in our spare room.
"Neuffy Says:
"The serious work of either a marriage or raising kids?
"Regarding free time: Of course there is copious free time. If you don’t have such amounts of free time, why have you arranged your life that way? From the tone of your comment, it seems that you think those things that are not practical or “serious” are not worthwhile. In my experience, it is precisely those things that are most precious.
"Sure, they aren’t what “grown-ups” do, but that is precisely the point of the comic: “Because we’re grown-ups now, and it’s our turn to decide what that means.” As long as the basic necessities of life are not being neglected (income/sanitation/hygiene/nutrition/etc), then this is the “serious work” of life.
Examples of things that I group in with ball-pits: An afternoon couching. An evening fire with dry ice and water-filled bottles. Fancy dress for a no-occasion dinner out. Snow forts/Igloos. Ticklefights. Lego nights. Dress-up parties. Strange-food dinner (eg. peanut butter pizza). Impromptu public plays.
"The reason this resonates so intensely with such a large number of people is precisely because it involves the kind of life-definition that seems sadly lacking in the archtypes laid out for us as life-models.
"Then again, maybe I’m just baised. My parents were a musician and an artist, and they did what they loved throughout their lives, and managed to raise children while doing so. They didn’t make the kind of sacrifice that it seems is being implied. I’ve also seen what I feel is the near-inevitable end result of self-sacrifice in the name of “maturity”: People who are burnt-out, inactive, have routines and habits set in stone, and really do not take joy from life.
"I know which life I want. I think that this idea symbolizes the choice of favoring strangeness and joy over practicality and seriousness."
Hear, hear!
If you managed to read this far, check out these links:
The comic that started it all.
The Blog to go with the comic that started it all.
A company that installed a ball pit.
And so did Google: Scroll to "Kidtastrophe."
Now, using Xkcd's Ball Pit Calculator, you may all donate to my fund. I need about $5000 to create a ball pit in our spare room.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Fail
The good news is, my results came yesterday.
The bad news is, as you can tell, I didn't pass. I scored a 130 out of a possible 294. The cutoff score was 153. I'm feeling pretty miserable about it, and I didn't sleep well last night. I was looking forward to it so much because I thought I had passed. Now I get to swallow my pride and tell people that I didn't pass. With a 45% passing rate, I'm not sure how I expected to pass on my first try, anyway.
This is the first time in my life I've ever completely failed a test.
I'll just be over there, having a pity party. You're all invited!
The bad news is, as you can tell, I didn't pass. I scored a 130 out of a possible 294. The cutoff score was 153. I'm feeling pretty miserable about it, and I didn't sleep well last night. I was looking forward to it so much because I thought I had passed. Now I get to swallow my pride and tell people that I didn't pass. With a 45% passing rate, I'm not sure how I expected to pass on my first try, anyway.
This is the first time in my life I've ever completely failed a test.
I'll just be over there, having a pity party. You're all invited!
Friday, April 11, 2008
I'm alive
I'm alive and counting down to next week, but it's making my anxiety attacks worse.
I've been having anxiety attacks right before bed for years. You know the kind I mean - you lie down in bed, last thing in the day, and your brain starts going over things that happened during the day. Suddenly you are cringing at yourself inside. "Why in the HELL did I say that to *HER*? What possessed me to behave in such an odd way?! I wish I hadn't shouted at soandso. Am I doing the right thing by leading my scout troop in to do such and such?"
Ok, so maybe I'm the only crazy person who feels this way at bedtime, I really don't know. It makes it hard to fall asleep, though, so I have gotten into the habit of telling myself little stories at bedtime. I make a conscious effot to push all that anxiety into a little space at the back of my mind, and then I concentrate on my story. I should really write them down at some point, but for some reason, I can't remember them the next morning!
Anyway, the anxiety attacks have gotten worse. I still only have them at bedtime, and I still can push them to the back of my mind. But now I have anxiety DREAMS as well. I woke up one night this week after a dream in which I was upset because - get this - I yelled at my grandmother. I felt so guilty I sat down and cried (in the dream) and then my sister opened all my wedding presents. Ok, it was just a dream, but obviously I am juxtaposing all my anxiety from the day onto family members. In any case, Grandma, I'm really sorry I yelled at you!
I really need to work on controlling my anxiety. Somehow I doubt that waiting on my test results is the true problem. I have a feeling this is a genetic anxiety disorder that I need to learn to live with. I'm like my mother in so many other ways, it's not surprising that I am like her in this, too!
I've been having anxiety attacks right before bed for years. You know the kind I mean - you lie down in bed, last thing in the day, and your brain starts going over things that happened during the day. Suddenly you are cringing at yourself inside. "Why in the HELL did I say that to *HER*? What possessed me to behave in such an odd way?! I wish I hadn't shouted at soandso. Am I doing the right thing by leading my scout troop in to do such and such?"
Ok, so maybe I'm the only crazy person who feels this way at bedtime, I really don't know. It makes it hard to fall asleep, though, so I have gotten into the habit of telling myself little stories at bedtime. I make a conscious effot to push all that anxiety into a little space at the back of my mind, and then I concentrate on my story. I should really write them down at some point, but for some reason, I can't remember them the next morning!
Anyway, the anxiety attacks have gotten worse. I still only have them at bedtime, and I still can push them to the back of my mind. But now I have anxiety DREAMS as well. I woke up one night this week after a dream in which I was upset because - get this - I yelled at my grandmother. I felt so guilty I sat down and cried (in the dream) and then my sister opened all my wedding presents. Ok, it was just a dream, but obviously I am juxtaposing all my anxiety from the day onto family members. In any case, Grandma, I'm really sorry I yelled at you!
I really need to work on controlling my anxiety. Somehow I doubt that waiting on my test results is the true problem. I have a feeling this is a genetic anxiety disorder that I need to learn to live with. I'm like my mother in so many other ways, it's not surprising that I am like her in this, too!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
If anyone asks...
I want some of these for my birthday: http://www.chicobag.com/
They look pretty cool, they are WAY better than using plastic bags, they'd fit in my purse and the reviews are decent. They are not very expensive, either, 5 of the same color for $20 from the links on the chicobag website or $3.85 for plain white ones from Amazon.
Most of the bad reviews (4/300+ were bad) were because the bags came with defects. I'm not sure the people realized that the bags are under a one year warranty, though. Even if they didn't come with information on the warranty, it shouldn't be that hard to call the company and find out how to get them replaced. For that matter, it seems like it would be easy to run a second seam myself.
I'm looking forward to getting some of these!
They look pretty cool, they are WAY better than using plastic bags, they'd fit in my purse and the reviews are decent. They are not very expensive, either, 5 of the same color for $20 from the links on the chicobag website or $3.85 for plain white ones from Amazon.
Most of the bad reviews (4/300+ were bad) were because the bags came with defects. I'm not sure the people realized that the bags are under a one year warranty, though. Even if they didn't come with information on the warranty, it shouldn't be that hard to call the company and find out how to get them replaced. For that matter, it seems like it would be easy to run a second seam myself.
I'm looking forward to getting some of these!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Your suburb...
I'm going to start a new line of jokes. Forget "your momma" insults. Let's try "your suburb" instead! I'll start. Your suburb has so much sprawl, the UN just recognized it as its own country. Your suburb is so environmentally unfriendly that they give tickets to anyone not driving an SUV! Your suburb is so vehicle dependent they recently took out the bike lanes on a major thoroughfare! Your suburb is so apathetic, there's only one pollng place in town! Your suburb is so ostentatious it has more golf course acreage than strip malls (and that's saying a lot!) Your suburb is so SUBURBAN that the children think "downtown" means the place with all the strip malls.
Now it's your turn! If you can't come up with any good ones, no problem. Guess which one is true about my suburb! Go ahead, guess. I'll wait.
Well, ok, several of those are true, but if you guessed "removed bike lanes" you are closest! Recently, on a major thoroughfare, they wanted to widen the street. It's the main access from our latest zone of sprawling suburbia to the interstate freeway. Two lanes was just not going to cut it anymore, so they widened it in both directions to three lanes. Unfortunately, in doing so, they took away the bike lanes. Now, in one direction, there is a sidewalk labeled "bike route" which invites bicyclists and pedestrians to share a 6 foot wide strip of pavement. In the other direction, there's nothing. Did I mention this is the steepest hill in town? A bicyclist may choose, on the way down - coast down the bike route and risk hitting a pedestrian? or coast down with 3 lanes of heavy traffic and risk being hit by a vehicle?
This matters to me because last week I started riding my bike to and from work. My plan is to ride Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. It takes less time than walking, and it's better excersize, too. Already I've seen some changes: I can now see my thigh muscles, and today it was easier than ever to ride at higher speeds. I still walk up the steep hill on my way to work, though I'm confident that eventually, if I stick to it, I'll be in good enough shape to ride up. I'd love to tell you how great the scenery is (I know it is, I walked it enough) but when I'm riding, I have to concentrate too much. Our lovely suburban town has an awful lot of gravel and rocks in the bike lanes.
The thing is, for a suburban town, the roads really aren't safe for a cyclist, and not just because they took out the bike lanes in one stretch of road or that the bike lanes have gravel where they exist. The same day as my first ride to work, a 10 yo boy on his way home from school was hit by the short school bus and killed at a blind intersection. The following Monday, a 13 yo girl was hit by a drunk driver in a mini van who was dropping his own children off at school. I'm not surprised that they were hit; I've had my own experiences with really scary drivers, on the same two days!
Friday, on my way down the hill (the one where they took out a bike lane) there was a stupid driver who stopped abruptly with her tail end stuck out into the next lane over while she was stopped at a red light. To avoid running smack into her, I had to swerve out into traffic, luckily with nothing coming. Her action would have been stupid even without a cyclist right behind her; traffic in the next lane hadn't stopped, and they go 40 miles an hour down that hill. When I finally made it around the corner, and into the bike lane, she was driving just behind me, half into the bike lane, and drifting even further over. I was sure I was about to die. Luckily someone honked at her and she started paying attention. When she finally did pass me, I peered in at her. She was unwrapping an ice cream bar. Now, I'm overweight too. I understand the need to be eating an ice cream bar on the way home to dinner. But lady, get fat on your own time! Get away from my back tire!
Monday I had a similar instance, this time with a man who sped up when I signaled left. What kind of idiot tries to cut off a bicyclist? I'll tell you what kind... a man in a beemer with something to prove!
After much discussion, my husband and I decided that it's just too dangerous to use that route in the evenings. He came up with an alternate route for me. I complained bitterly that it was a mile longer and had 2 extra hills, but he was right, it was much safer. It has a bicycle lane the entire length and I don't have to turn left until I'm at a special intersection designed for bicyclists. Despite my original complaints, I am very pleased with the new route. Instead the old way, with a mile of uphill and half a mile of (dangerous) downhill, the new route has half a mile of moderate uphill and about 2 miles of downhill. The two extra hills turned out to be little blips I barely noticed. Indeed, I didn't notice the extra mile at all. I wouldn't want to use it the other way (two miles of uphill? EEK!) but I like all the coasting I did on the way home!
Yes, I said coasting. Those bicyclist enthusiasts out there would, if they ever read this blog, indubitably shake their heads over me. But it's not my fault, I swear! I DO know that it's better not to coast on a downhill like that. It's my bike that is the problem. It's not in the worst shape it could be, thanks to my husband, but it's not in great shape either. For example, I cannot shift out of the middle chainring gear. Instead of the 21 gears I should have access too, I only have 7. My top coasting speed of 20mph is not nearly high enough to compete with traffic going 40-50. What I really need is a nice road bike instead of my heavy mountain bike that has to be dragged up the hills. Given our bike lanes here, I'm almost glad I can't afford a road bike. How would I deal with gravel on a road bike?
Now it's your turn! If you can't come up with any good ones, no problem. Guess which one is true about my suburb! Go ahead, guess. I'll wait.
Well, ok, several of those are true, but if you guessed "removed bike lanes" you are closest! Recently, on a major thoroughfare, they wanted to widen the street. It's the main access from our latest zone of sprawling suburbia to the interstate freeway. Two lanes was just not going to cut it anymore, so they widened it in both directions to three lanes. Unfortunately, in doing so, they took away the bike lanes. Now, in one direction, there is a sidewalk labeled "bike route" which invites bicyclists and pedestrians to share a 6 foot wide strip of pavement. In the other direction, there's nothing. Did I mention this is the steepest hill in town? A bicyclist may choose, on the way down - coast down the bike route and risk hitting a pedestrian? or coast down with 3 lanes of heavy traffic and risk being hit by a vehicle?
This matters to me because last week I started riding my bike to and from work. My plan is to ride Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. It takes less time than walking, and it's better excersize, too. Already I've seen some changes: I can now see my thigh muscles, and today it was easier than ever to ride at higher speeds. I still walk up the steep hill on my way to work, though I'm confident that eventually, if I stick to it, I'll be in good enough shape to ride up. I'd love to tell you how great the scenery is (I know it is, I walked it enough) but when I'm riding, I have to concentrate too much. Our lovely suburban town has an awful lot of gravel and rocks in the bike lanes.
The thing is, for a suburban town, the roads really aren't safe for a cyclist, and not just because they took out the bike lanes in one stretch of road or that the bike lanes have gravel where they exist. The same day as my first ride to work, a 10 yo boy on his way home from school was hit by the short school bus and killed at a blind intersection. The following Monday, a 13 yo girl was hit by a drunk driver in a mini van who was dropping his own children off at school. I'm not surprised that they were hit; I've had my own experiences with really scary drivers, on the same two days!
Friday, on my way down the hill (the one where they took out a bike lane) there was a stupid driver who stopped abruptly with her tail end stuck out into the next lane over while she was stopped at a red light. To avoid running smack into her, I had to swerve out into traffic, luckily with nothing coming. Her action would have been stupid even without a cyclist right behind her; traffic in the next lane hadn't stopped, and they go 40 miles an hour down that hill. When I finally made it around the corner, and into the bike lane, she was driving just behind me, half into the bike lane, and drifting even further over. I was sure I was about to die. Luckily someone honked at her and she started paying attention. When she finally did pass me, I peered in at her. She was unwrapping an ice cream bar. Now, I'm overweight too. I understand the need to be eating an ice cream bar on the way home to dinner. But lady, get fat on your own time! Get away from my back tire!
Monday I had a similar instance, this time with a man who sped up when I signaled left. What kind of idiot tries to cut off a bicyclist? I'll tell you what kind... a man in a beemer with something to prove!
After much discussion, my husband and I decided that it's just too dangerous to use that route in the evenings. He came up with an alternate route for me. I complained bitterly that it was a mile longer and had 2 extra hills, but he was right, it was much safer. It has a bicycle lane the entire length and I don't have to turn left until I'm at a special intersection designed for bicyclists. Despite my original complaints, I am very pleased with the new route. Instead the old way, with a mile of uphill and half a mile of (dangerous) downhill, the new route has half a mile of moderate uphill and about 2 miles of downhill. The two extra hills turned out to be little blips I barely noticed. Indeed, I didn't notice the extra mile at all. I wouldn't want to use it the other way (two miles of uphill? EEK!) but I like all the coasting I did on the way home!
Yes, I said coasting. Those bicyclist enthusiasts out there would, if they ever read this blog, indubitably shake their heads over me. But it's not my fault, I swear! I DO know that it's better not to coast on a downhill like that. It's my bike that is the problem. It's not in the worst shape it could be, thanks to my husband, but it's not in great shape either. For example, I cannot shift out of the middle chainring gear. Instead of the 21 gears I should have access too, I only have 7. My top coasting speed of 20mph is not nearly high enough to compete with traffic going 40-50. What I really need is a nice road bike instead of my heavy mountain bike that has to be dragged up the hills. Given our bike lanes here, I'm almost glad I can't afford a road bike. How would I deal with gravel on a road bike?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Modern Medicine
A friend of a friend of mine started taking medication for a thyroid condition yesterday. Now, coming from a family with dysfunctional thyroids right and left, I was completely understanding that someone would need medicine for an under-producing thyroid, even a young someone. But no, they are giving her medicine to DESTROY her thyroid. She has an over-working thyroid, for which her doctor prescribed radioactive iodine. After the effects of the radioactive medicine wear off, she will be on prescription medication for the rest of her life to make up for a "damaged thyroid condition." Now, I've read the effects an overactive thyroid can have, and they aren't pretty. But neither are the symptoms of a damaged thyroid that underachieves.
My first reaction (when I finally worked out what they were giving the medication for) was that some crazy doctor in her third world country needed to go back to school. Then I did a bit of research. It turns out that my first reaction was one of prejudice: destructive prescriptions for this condition are standard medical practice even in the US. This shocks me even more.
What has modern medicine come to, that we BREAK a working part of our bodies, causing a different life long problem, to stop certain symptoms? Is this where the height of technology has lead us to? Damaging our bodies? I find it hard to believe that these medical research companies can come up with nothing to treat the symptoms of an overactive thyroid other than to injure it past repair. You may laugh and call me a holistic Californian, but I see a problem here! To me, permanently damaging our bodies in the name of medicine is like the practice of bloodletting: for YEARS doctors thought it was a good idea, only to find out they were doing their patients more harm than good.
I feel that this issue is a symptom of a larger problem I have personally noticed humans doing for a few years now, though it has probably been happening for decades without my awareness. It's the practice of trying to fix a problem we caused in nature by changing nature further. Some examples of this include: "oh dear, we damaged the natural watershed system beyond repair and now the river floods, let's build a dam!" and then the new reservoir destroys whole villages and wipes out 4 varieties of fish. Or: "Hey, when we built this road, we created a ditch that breeds mosquitoes with West Nile virus, so let's spray everything with pesticides" and then we get 3 legged frogs and children with asthma and food you can't eat off the tree. Or: "Hey, we tried to plant the prairie with farms and now all the dirt is spinning up in our faces and the buffalo have died, lets go do the same thing 400 miles north!" How about: "Uh oh, gasoline prices are going up, let's set a whole lot of it aside, expensively, so we have some to sell in the future!"
This is not sustainable living, folks. Nor is permanently destroying a working part of our bodies to fix a problem. Doctors, Scientists, Army Corps of Engineers, Environmentalists: If you cannot find a natural way to fix the problem, which DOES NOT CAUSE MORE HARM, then don't try!
My first reaction (when I finally worked out what they were giving the medication for) was that some crazy doctor in her third world country needed to go back to school. Then I did a bit of research. It turns out that my first reaction was one of prejudice: destructive prescriptions for this condition are standard medical practice even in the US. This shocks me even more.
What has modern medicine come to, that we BREAK a working part of our bodies, causing a different life long problem, to stop certain symptoms? Is this where the height of technology has lead us to? Damaging our bodies? I find it hard to believe that these medical research companies can come up with nothing to treat the symptoms of an overactive thyroid other than to injure it past repair. You may laugh and call me a holistic Californian, but I see a problem here! To me, permanently damaging our bodies in the name of medicine is like the practice of bloodletting: for YEARS doctors thought it was a good idea, only to find out they were doing their patients more harm than good.
I feel that this issue is a symptom of a larger problem I have personally noticed humans doing for a few years now, though it has probably been happening for decades without my awareness. It's the practice of trying to fix a problem we caused in nature by changing nature further. Some examples of this include: "oh dear, we damaged the natural watershed system beyond repair and now the river floods, let's build a dam!" and then the new reservoir destroys whole villages and wipes out 4 varieties of fish. Or: "Hey, when we built this road, we created a ditch that breeds mosquitoes with West Nile virus, so let's spray everything with pesticides" and then we get 3 legged frogs and children with asthma and food you can't eat off the tree. Or: "Hey, we tried to plant the prairie with farms and now all the dirt is spinning up in our faces and the buffalo have died, lets go do the same thing 400 miles north!" How about: "Uh oh, gasoline prices are going up, let's set a whole lot of it aside, expensively, so we have some to sell in the future!"
This is not sustainable living, folks. Nor is permanently destroying a working part of our bodies to fix a problem. Doctors, Scientists, Army Corps of Engineers, Environmentalists: If you cannot find a natural way to fix the problem, which DOES NOT CAUSE MORE HARM, then don't try!
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